This is our first Father’s Day for my husband. I started looking through all the photos of him and our son and it was eye opening. I realized how lucky our son is, he has a dad that plays with him, has cuddle time with him, and loves him more than anything.
Not every child has a father like that. I take it for granted because I have a wonderful man that I get to call dad. This is a day of celebration for us but I’m sure it’s a sad reminder of a father that isn’t there; those that have passed away, those that walked away, and those that weren’t emotionally there.
Today, hug your fathers and say thank you. You have something that many people yearn for.
Happy Father’s Day to all those amazing men out there that have earned the title dad!
You know you have a little one on the way but it’s still early in the pregnancy… there are a couple of questions you need to answer; Who do I tell? When do I tell them? How do I tell them? Announcing is such a fun experience! But I do know that, depending on your history with miscarriages or fertility, this can be a stressful time as well.
We found out early about my pregnancy and I immediately did my research on when to announce and the chance of miscarriage as you go through the pregnancy. In my reading, I found that women ran the spectrum of when they announced, it ranged from the second they peed on the stick to as far into the second trimester they could get (this can only get you so far, the belly tends to give you away!). There were many reasons people had to wait/not wait, some wanted more time for just themselves and their significant other to celebrate or prepare privately, some worried about miscarriage, others were so excited they wanted to share it with the world immediately. There is no right or wrong in this process, there is just what you feel is best for you and your little one(s).
As a first-time parent, I am a little paranoid about the worst happening at every step of the way. This paranoia made me want to wait until the start of the second trimester to do a public announcement. I didn’t want to announce and then lose the baby. It felt too public to have to explain what happened to all my friends and family. My hubby had the same feelings I did, so the decision to wait on publicly announcing was made. I read that the chance of miscarriage dropped to a very small chance after 12 weeks and it felt like a good option to use 12 weeks as the date.
Now just because we waited on the public announcement didn’t mean we kept the secret between the two of us. We were bursting with excitement over the news! It felt impossible to keep in, so we decided to tell our best friends and our immediate families. We talked it out and these were the people that we would turn to for support if something like a miscarriage happened, this made it an obvious choice to share the news with them sooner than the 12 weeks.
My husband couldn’t wait and told his closest friends in a text, I told my close girlfriends whenever I had an opportunity where we were alone. For us the families were very exciting to tell, because for both our parents this is the first grandchild (they had been not so subtlety hinting they wanted a grandchild for years). We told them by giving them each a gift that included a pacifier and burping cloth. It wasn’t a fancy announcement but it felt very personal for us and they loved it (they would have been happy with any announcement we chose, as long as it ended in a grand-baby).
Together we made the decision to tell our employers prior to a public announcement. This
can vary, depending on your relationship with your employer. Our relationships are good with our employers so we didn’t stress about it impacting day to day work. Also, we both work for small companies and the time off will greatly impact our offices. Telling them early was mostly out of respect for them.
Next, we started planning what we wanted to do for the big announcement to the rest of the world. We saw everything from Ice, Ice, Baby and a can of Prego to full blown photo shoot through a city. Both of us don’t like to be too over the top so we didn’t want a full photo shoot for the announcement but also didn’t want to go to goofy (we wanted to be able to frame it and hang it on the wall). We wanted a simple picture with us not as the focus. Lucky for us, we have an incredibly talented photographer as a friend and she did a quick shot for us.
The big thing to remember is pregnancy is a personal experience that you can enjoy any way you want to. If you want to not announce at all, you can! If you want to individually call every person in your phone, you can! Don’t let other people make you feel pressured to do anything you don’t truly want to do. I thought people were opinionated about weddings when I got married but that was nothing compared to how opinionated they are about babies. This is your baby, it is not their baby, you can do whatever you feel is best.
I am a planner, I like to know what is coming, I like to be prepared. I am always looking toward the future. It is an uncontrollable personality trait.
Now I realize that life doesn’t like to follow a plan, in fact most times that my life has hit a bump in the road it has led me somewhere better than I could have imagined – even with this knowledge I can’t help but attempt to be control my life anyway.
After college graduation I married my high school sweetheart. Before you roll your eyes at the idea of marrying a boy you dated in high school, let me say that my husband makes my life more fun and makes me feel more loved than I could possibly deserve. He is also not a planner, he is a roll with the punches guy – this is simultaneously frustrating for me and good for me. When you are looking toward the future you can miss the present, it is always good to find someone who pushes you to enjoy the moment.
We chose to spend a few years just being married rather than grow our family right away. These years of just us time was exactly what we needed. We were married young and wanted to enjoy a lifestyle that allowed us to go out with friends for drinks, eat out at restaurants and sleep in on the weekends. It was a fun point in our lives that we were able to enjoy guilt free. The “just us” years also gave us time to grow up. Settled in good jobs and ready to move forward in our lives I went into planning mode; the plan was to buy our first home, adopt a dog and then have a baby. The baby came sooner than planned.
There is no rush quite like the one you get when you look down at a positive pregnancy test. It is a rush that includes terror, joy, sadness, excitement and disbelief. I would like to tell you that I did a cute gift or announcement for my husband but I was in shock after I saw that test, all I managed to do was run into the bedroom and flip on the light at 7am (he wasn’t pleased at this point) then I held out the test and asked if that looked like 2 lines. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t planned but it is still one of the best moments of my life.
The baby revelation came before we had bought a house or adopted dog, the plan was dead. We knew we wanted to be out of our apartment before the baby arrived so now we were in full blown house hunting mode. Our heads were spinning with the news of the baby and now we were about to make the biggest purchase of our live – it was a stressful time but we survived! We are 3 months away from meeting our baby and just moved into our first house and that is where this blog begins. I am going to be writing about our marriage, the pregnancy and fixing up our new home (it was built in 1959 and we are DIY people!). Just to clarify, I am not an expert in any of these fields… not even a little. I am only documenting my adventures because my life is experiencing amazing changes and I don’t want to forget a second of it.