You know you have a little one on the way but it’s still early in the pregnancy… there are a couple of questions you need to answer; Who do I tell? When do I tell them? How do I tell them? Announcing is such a fun experience! But I do know that, depending on your history with miscarriages or fertility, this can be a stressful time as well.
We found out early about my pregnancy and I immediately did my research on when to announce and the chance of miscarriage as you go through the pregnancy. In my reading, I found that women ran the spectrum of when they announced, it ranged from the second they peed on the stick to as far into the second trimester they could get (this can only get you so far, the belly tends to give you away!). There were many reasons people had to wait/not wait, some wanted more time for just themselves and their significant other to celebrate or prepare privately, some worried about miscarriage, others were so excited they wanted to share it with the world immediately. There is no right or wrong in this process, there is just what you feel is best for you and your little one(s).
As a first-time parent, I am a little paranoid about the worst happening at every step of the way. This paranoia made me want to wait until the start of the second trimester to do a public announcement. I didn’t want to announce and then lose the baby. It felt too public to have to explain what happened to all my friends and family. My hubby had the same feelings I did, so the decision to wait on publicly announcing was made. I read that the chance of miscarriage dropped to a very small chance after 12 weeks and it felt like a good option to use 12 weeks as the date.
Now just because we waited on the public announcement didn’t mean we kept the secret between the two of us. We were bursting with excitement over the news! It felt impossible to keep in, so we decided to tell our best friends and our immediate families. We talked it out and these were the people that we would turn to for support if something like a miscarriage happened, this made it an obvious choice to share the news with them sooner than the 12 weeks.
My husband couldn’t wait and told his closest friends in a text, I told my close girlfriends whenever I had an opportunity where we were alone. For us the families were very exciting to tell, because for both our parents this is the first grandchild (they had been not so subtlety hinting they wanted a grandchild for years). We told them by giving them each a gift that included a pacifier and burping cloth. It wasn’t a fancy announcement but it felt very personal for us and they loved it (they would have been happy with any announcement we chose, as long as it ended in a grand-baby).
Together we made the decision to tell our employers prior to a public announcement. This
can vary, depending on your relationship with your employer. Our relationships are good with our employers so we didn’t stress about it impacting day to day work. Also, we both work for small companies and the time off will greatly impact our offices. Telling them early was mostly out of respect for them.
Next, we started planning what we wanted to do for the big announcement to the rest of the world. We saw everything from Ice, Ice, Baby and a can of Prego to full blown photo shoot through a city. Both of us don’t like to be too over the top so we didn’t want a full photo shoot for the announcement but also didn’t want to go to goofy (we wanted to be able to frame it and hang it on the wall). We wanted a simple picture with us not as the focus. Lucky for us, we have an incredibly talented photographer as a friend and she did a quick shot for us.
The big thing to remember is pregnancy is a personal experience that you can enjoy any way you want to. If you want to not announce at all, you can! If you want to individually call every person in your phone, you can! Don’t let other people make you feel pressured to do anything you don’t truly want to do. I thought people were opinionated about weddings when I got married but that was nothing compared to how opinionated they are about babies. This is your baby, it is not their baby, you can do whatever you feel is best.