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Posted in First Time Parents, Our First Home, Our Marriage

The Beginning

us-2I am a planner, I like to know what is coming, I like to be prepared. I am always looking toward the future. It is an uncontrollable personality trait.

Now I realize that life doesn’t like to follow a plan, in fact most times that my life has hit a bump in the road it has led me somewhere better than I could have imagined – even with this knowledge I can’t help but attempt to be control my life anyway.

After college graduation I married my high school sweetheart. Before you roll your eyes at the idea of marrying a boy you dated in high school, let me say that my husband makes my life more fun and makes me feel more loved than I could possibly deserve. He is also not a planner, he is a roll with the punches guy – this is simultaneously frustrating for me and good for me.  When you are looking toward the future you can miss the present, it is always good to find someone who pushes you to enjoy the moment.

We chose to spend a few years just being married rather than grow our family right away. These years of just us time was exactly what we needed. We were married young and wanted to enjoy a lifestyle that allowed us to go out with friends for drinks, eat out at restaurants and sleep in on the weekends. It was a fun point in our lives that we were able to enjoy guilt free. The “just us” years also gave us time to grow up. Settled in good jobs and ready to move forward in our lives I went into planning mode; the plan was to buy our first home, adopt a dog and then have a baby. The baby came sooner than planned.

There is no rush quite like the one you get when you look down at a positive pregnancy test.969753_10201429001075917_645033066_n It is a rush that includes terror, joy, sadness, excitement and disbelief. I would like to tell you that I did a cute gift or announcement for my husband but I was in shock after I saw that test, all I managed to do was run into the bedroom and flip on the light at 7am (he wasn’t pleased at this point) then I held out the test and asked if that looked like 2 lines. It wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t planned but it is still one of the best moments of my life.

The baby revelation came before we had bought a house or adopted dog, the plan was dead. We knew we wanted to be out of our apartment before the baby arrived so now we were in full blown house hunting mode. Our heads were spinning with the news of the baby and now we were about to make the biggest purchase of our live – it was a stressful time but we survived! We are 3 months away from meeting our baby and just moved into our first house and that is where this blog begins. I am going to be writing about our marriage, the pregnancy and fixing up our new home (it was built in 1959 and we are DIY people!). Just to clarify, I am not an expert in any of these fields… not even a little. I am only documenting my adventures because my life is experiencing amazing changes and I don’t want to forget a second of it.

 

 

Posted in First Time Parents

Things You Give Up When You Have A Newborn

There are so many things you gain when you become a parent but there are also a few things you give up. This list just makes me giggle.

  1. Sleep – Who needs sleep anyway? I do, I need sleep. My little one started his life sleeping really well for fairly long spans at night, but he has had some tummy rImiTnrFBnQbQhz6HHCVd9YQGW1d1WFk_lgtroubles recently so it has been waking up every two hours. Plus our little angel has been waking up ready for the day at 5:30am. Last night as I started falling asleep on the couch at 7:30pm, I looked at my husband and said, “I am so tired.” He took the little one and let me go to bed. It is amazing what a few extra hours of sleep can do! I dream of one day being able to have a full night’s sleep again. Yes, I dare to dream.
  2. Warm Food – I always heard jokes about parents not getting to have a warm meal but never understood the jokes. Now I get it. Every time dinner is ready something happens, a diaper explosion, he is hungry, he starts to cry, he is doing something so cute I can’t look away. Your food ends up put aside because of your responsibilities and by the time you resolve the situation dinner is cold. It is a small price to pay for your adorable newborn.
  3. Clean Clothes – My son is, what my pediatrician calls, a barf bunny. He spits up like crazy (don’t worry he is healthy!). I can carefully cover myself in receiving blankets but somehow, he always manages to spit up somewhere on me. Thank goodness baby spit up cleans easily. I quickly learned to not change into my work clothes until right before we head out for the day.
  4. A Clean House – I am a cleaner/organizer, so not having a clean house is like nails on a chalk board for me. I have worked hard to keep up but some days it is 3914629impossible. As I look around at the dishes in the sink, the un-vacuumed floor, and the laundry that hasn’t been put away, I think to myself, I get to enjoy this for the next 18 years.
  5. Moving Quickly – I think back to BB (before baby), a friend would call to meet for a drink, I would fix my makeup, grab my purse, and go. Ah, the ability to move quickly. This is an impossible task with our little guy. There is a full process to go anywhere; check the diaper bag, change his diaper, get him strapped into the car seat, make sure he has his paci and a receiving blanket, oh he peed again so we have to change him again, take him out of the car seat, change him, get him into the car seat, get myself ready… 30 minutes later we are out the door. All of that is if he isn’t hungry, add another 30ish minutes if I have to feed him.36-funniest-and-hilarious-parenting-memes-32
  6. Staying Out Late – We have a strict bed time, because if we don’t then we suffer the consequences. Staying out past 8pm isn’t really an option at this point. Our little man struggles with bedtime so we are trying to stay in routine (at a least a little bit!). It isn’t just our baby that makes us come home… I’m not sure about other parents but I am exhausted around 8pm. Even if he didn’t need a structured bedtime, I need one!

As always! I will say that every negative of a newborn is far outweighed by the handspositives. Our little guy’s newest thing is to hold my hand while he falls asleep, my heart melts! Some many of the best moments of my life. But it is funny to look back at what used to be simple tasks and how they are now like entering a battlefield. I can’t wait to see how I feel when he hits his toddler phase!

Posted in Our Marriage

Thought of the Day: June 22, 2017

I recently read a post from a friend about all the negativity she receives because she is still single. People say they feel bad for her, they talk about how unhappy they would be without being with their S/O and having to date again. For some reason this really bothered me. You can be happy and single or unhappy and married. I would hate for people to think I was only happy because I met my husband. I was happy before I met him, and that happiness morphed into something new and wonderful because of him, but he is not the only means to my happiness.

de531944023f8a42ffbe178bb7995ee8--quotes-about-happiness-happiness-isIn my life I have decided that my happiness will never revolve around one person or one thing. First of all there is no reason that only one thing can make you happy, there is no limit on how much happiness you can have. Second, if you only invest yourself in your spouse, your job, or your hobby, what happens if you lose that part of your life? I have no intention of getting a divorce or my husband passing away unexpectedly but life can take you down unexpected pathways. If something happened and I know longer had my husband, I still have family and friends, as well as hobbies that I love. Would they replace my husband? Of course not. Will the other things that bring me happiness help me move forward with my life? Yes.

I’m not saying this to be negative or say that you shouldn’t be invested in your relationship 100%, I’m saying this because before you feel sorry for your single friends put some thought into their lives. Do they have people that they love and love them? Do they have a passion in life? Are they living life to the fullest? If the answers are yes, then there is no need for sympathy.

Posted in First Time Parents

7 Weeks Postpartum

Week 7 has been my most challenging week yet. There is a definite weight that has appeared. I don’t believe that I have postpartum depression but I can see how this feeling could easily pull me down that path. As I don’t want to end up in a depression, I told my husband how I have been feeling and he will watch for signs of anything getting worse. I know many women have been through this and I am not afraid to get help if I need it.
The weight makes my body and mind feel heavy and tired. It pounds my brain with what needs to be done, and what I’m doing wrong. I fend it away but it still comes slithering back.
It could be stress, lack of sleep, cabin fever, or all of the above. The last 7 weeks have been so amazing it is hard to understand how I have any negative feelings at all. None of these are direct at my little guy, cuddling with him makes me feel better, not worse.
We have been dealing with medical billing, little man has been waking up every 2 hours to feed at night (we were lucky and he used to sleep 4-5 hours at a time), and breastfeeding has me feeling tied down to our house. They are all temporary issues but my brain doesn’t listen to reason when I can’t sleep at night. There is nothing more frustrating than being exhausted and not being able to sleep. I stare at my sleeping son, knowing that I have 2 hours before he will wake up and sleep won’t be an option. It is awful.
I feel fine for the majority of the time and I will get help if it gets worse. After going through this I see how mothers feel ashamed to have these feelings, like why do I have the right to feel sad when I have a perfect baby? It feels like I am letting down my husband and my baby.
I want to say to all the mommas dealing with postpartum depression or baby blues, we can get through this! It is a temporary feeling. It is our hormones, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Get help if you’re feeling overwhelmed, your doctor is there to help you. Also, if you can, open up to your significant other. External support can help lift that weight.

Posted in Our Marriage

Thought of the Day: June 18, 2017

This is our first Father’s Day for my husband. I started looking through all the photos of him and our son and it was eye opening. I realized how lucky our son is, he has a dad that plays with him, has cuddle time with him, and loves him more than anything. 

Not every child has a father like that. I take it for granted because I have a wonderful man that I get to call dad. This is a day of celebration for us but I’m sure it’s a sad reminder of a father that isn’t there; those that have passed away, those that walked away, and those that weren’t emotionally there.

Today, hug your fathers and say thank you. You have something that many people yearn for. 

Happy Father’s Day to all those amazing men out there that have earned the title dad! 

Posted in Having a Life

New Mama: Direct Sales

Where are my independent contractors at?? I’ve thought about doing direct sales but never made the jump. I want to ensure I’m selling a product I can really be an advocate for, I don’t just want to sell something to sell something. 

I realize how challenging direct sales can be and that is why I want to be a part of a product I love. If nothing else I’ll get a discount on a product I like! I’m looking at this as more of a fun business I can dive into on nights and weekend, not a way to not work full time. 

If I find a product I truly love, I also won’t feel like I’m annoying people when I talk/post about it.

Anyways, what products do you sell and do you enjoy it?? I’m still on the fence about doing direct sales. Comments are appreciated!

Posted in First Time Parents

Things I said Before I had a Newborn

It is always hilarious to look back at what I have said and thought when I was younger. It is the same with a baby. I had so many opinions and thoughts on something I had never experienced. Again, it is fun to look back now that I have gone through having a newborn.

Things I said Before I had a Newborn:

  1. “I will never co-sleep, it’s too dangerous.” Ha! That went out the window ASAP. I read so much on not co-sleeping, how you could crush or smother your baby. Of course, this completely terrified me, so no co-sleeping was the plan. That is all well to say but when it is 3am, your little one cries every time you set him down to sleep, you are exhausted, and still healing from giving birth, your priorities change. I broke down and let him sleep on my chest. It was the best sleep we had since we brought him home. We still work to keep him in his bassinet at night but on a bad night co-sleeping has happened.
  2. “I’m sure we will want a date night a few weeks after he is born.” He is 7 weeks 36-funniest-and-hilarious-parenting-memes-32and we are still waiting on that date night. I was worried about keeping our relationship strong and not letting the baby completely take over but we have stayed incredibly close during this time. My body was still healing up until recently and that made a date night out seem unappealing. It’s hard to feel romantic when your boobs are swollen and you are still bleeding. Plus being back at work it is hard to give up the time we do have with him. At 7 weeks, we are finally at the point where we are ready for a short date night.
  3. “My baby will exclusively breastfeed until I go back to work, then I’ll pump and breastfeed.” I almost accomplished this one! Our little guy ended up taking a few bottles of formula when we first brought him home. His bilirubin was high and the doctor recommended supplementing with formula to help him poop and get it out of his system. When your baby’s health is on the line you do what you have to do, we supplemented with formula until his bilirubin was under control.
  4. “Pumping looks easier than breastfeeding.” Oh, young, naïve, me. Pumping is not easy, the only thing easier about pumping is that you can have someone else feed the baby and you don’t have to breastfeed in public (I struggle feeding in public). Other than that, it is more work because you have to hook everything up, pack up the milk, and then clean all your pumping parts. It makes some things more convenient but I wouldn’t say it is easier.
  5. “We will get him in a routine right away.” Yup, failed there. We tried but with a newborn we ended up just trying to survive. It was easier to let him create his own schedule at first. There were a few things that helped, making it clear which was day and which was night helped so much. We opened the blinds during the day, didn’t swaddle him, had noise going in the background, and got him outside. At night, we turned down the lights, kept it quiet, and swaddled him. As for a routine, like I said, he made the schedule but usually it is feed, play, nap. How long on each of those? Varies on his mood and sometimes he skips one of the steps completely. We have managed to get in a nighttime routine before we put him down to sleep. We give him a bath or we put on night lotion and brush his hair, put on a clean diaper and onesie, swaddle, then finish with a bedtime story. He may or may not actually fall asleep after our routine but we are hoping the consistency will eventually benefit us.pinterest-moms-meme
  6. “Since we will be home a lot this summer we can work on house projects.” I thought this would be easy, just work on the projects when he is sleeping. Nap times are short! During those few breaks we do laundry, dishes, and attempt to keep our house clean(ish). I am a neat freak and this has been a struggle for me to sometimes let things stay messy. As our little man gets bigger, things are getting easier (most days) but it is still a shock how little time you have.

I’m sure I said many more things that ended up being completely incorrect. It is fun to look back at what I thought before baby. I’ll wait a couple months and then I should be able to make fun of what I am saying now. 😊

Posted in First Time Parents

Thought of the Day: June 15, 2017

This morning a stared at my son, he is always so smiley and happy in the morning, and thought how lucky we are he is here and healthy. He is such a blessing to us. Having him changed us, our world tilted, and made him the most important thing.

It was a beautiful moment.

Then I felt the twinge, that gut dropping feeling of knowing we now have medical bills to Misleading-Doctor12pay. Now we have insurance but, due to some circumstances, we owe more than we were planning. It is enough that we have to contact our medical centers and hope they are open to working with us. Luckily, we both have stable jobs and will work to get it paid off. Is it stressful? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No (My husband reminds me of this daily). But this situation makes me think of people that don’t have insurance or, like us, have a situation where insurance doesn’t cover everything, and they end up $50,000 or more in debt. My heart bleeds for them. I’m not saying I have the answer but something has to change, a new mother shouldn’t look at her child and see a price tag, a person that just discovered they have cancer and will need treatment shouldn’t have to think “is my life worth the cost?”.

Medical costs continue to rise and our incomes aren’t rising at those levels. While this happens insurance rates continue to go up and high deductibles are more and more common. This pushes more people to medical bankruptcy. As a middle-class American, you don’t qualify for aid but you don’t have enough to cover the out of pocket. How do we fix this?

PS: I am not trying to start a healthcare debate, just thinking out loud. 😊

Posted in First Time Parents

What to do While you Breastfeed

As a first-time mom, I was shocked at how much time breastfeeding takes up. Let’s say it is 30 minutes for the little one to feed, but add 5 minutes before and after to get yourself635c37f79a1dd752f8ee1cdd08d2beda--breastfeeding-meme-funny-shit prepared and then to clean up. This really puts it at 40 minutes, then 2 hours later you do it again. That is a lot of time sitting around feeding. You are a human vending machine. I don’t regret choosing to breast feed but I just wasn’t mentally prepared for how challenging it would be. Now, to the point, what do you do during your breastfeeding times. The first week I just stared at my little one because he is beautiful and perfect but as the weeks pasted I realized I needed something to do. Here are the easy things to do while breastfeeding.

  1. EAT and hydrate: I can’t be the only mom that struggles with getting enough to eat. I am so busy that it is easy to forget, also looking around my kitchen it is hard to find quick, easy, and healthy things to eat (I’ll happily take recommendations). While breastfeeding it is important to be well fed to keep your supply up, I knew that I needed to try harder to increase my food intake. Breastfeeding is the perfect time to eat and drink water. I make sure I have a snack and my water bottle ready to go when I sit down to feed the baby. This is the perfect time to do this because I can’t really move and it doesn’t involve a lot of work. It is working for me very well. Just be sure not to get crumbs on your little one!
  2. Read: Once you master the one-handed book/kindle hold you are set. It is an easy stress-free activity that you can do sitting down. I personally love to read so this worked out nicely. Will you need to set down your book to readjust, yes. Just be sure to keep tabs on what page you are on, because you try to add a bookmark to the mix and it gets more complicated. Also, I like to read out loud so my little can hear it, extra bonding and entertainment for me. At times I was too exhausted to want to read but it was a perfect fix when I was feeling anxious to do something.
  3. TV: Time to binge watch your favorite TV show. Netflix and breastfeeding truly go hand in hand. I will be honest and say that with the baby moving or crying you sometimes miss pieces so I stuck to shows I had already seen (Friends, Parks & Rec, and The Office!), this meant they didn’t distract me from my little man if he needed me.
  4. Music: This was event better for me than TV. I would put on some calming tunes, you-know-youre-a-breastfeeding-mom-when-you-decide-what-to-wear-based-on-how-easily-accessible-you-breasts-will-be-1cd68thank you Spotify for letting me make my perfect playlist, and relax. When you are relaxed so is your little one. Plus, I always think about what my little boy is absorbing and some of the TV stuff I want to avoid as much as possible.
  5. Write: I love to blog, Instagram, or just write for myself, while I’m breastfeeding. I find writing to be therapeutic and with my cell phone I can type one handed. This gave my brain something to concentrate on that wasn’t just sitting around watching TV.
  6. Talk to your Little One: This is an obvious option, I love talking to my baby while he eats. We are so close and cuddly it is natural to ooo and awe over him. I take advantage of my couch time with other things but the thing I do the most is have a conversation with my little man. It is just one more way to build that one of a kind relationship.

Breastfeeding is such an interesting experience, it is challenging but bonding. I have had my struggles with it but I am glad that I haven’t given up yet. I’ll keep striving to move forward with it each day.

I recently read some truly cruel remarks on social media about mothers that don’t exclusively breastfeed, words like selfish and irresponsible were thrown out. Mothers should support mothers and the best baby is a fed baby. Cheers to you amazing moms, whether you breastfeed, pump, or use formula.

Posted in First Time Parents

Newborn Baby Photos, Oh My

I look at everyone’s adorable newborn baby pictures and wonder… How the hell did you do that!?

We have a close friend that is a photographer and agreed to do some newborn pictures for us. Now, I wasn’t looking for anything fancy, just a few good shots to put on our wall. All we wanted to do was swaddle our little guy and use a couple locations in our house to get photos. Simple enough, right? Well, we couldn’t completely swaddle him because he hates his arms being pinned down, we settled for a half swaddle. Then he spit up on the swaddle I wanted to use. Just minor things, but then it turned for the worse…

The flawless photos of other babies wasn’t happening for us.

Attempt 1: Our, usually happy, little guy decided to have a total meltdown. He wouldn’tevil-baby-meme-dumpaday-19 fall asleep and he would stop crying. It was impossible to get a good shot of him. After about an hour we decided to call it. Lucky for us, it was our friend doing the photos so we rescheduled. I don’t know how people do this if the photographer isn’t a friend and you have a scheduled time in a studio. Respect to all you parent’s that have it far more together than we do.

Attempt 2: We made it about 5 minutes in before he decided he didn’t like photos. This one wasn’t a meltdown but he was fussy enough that it was difficult to get a good shot. We tried feeding him, changing him, and even tried to get him to fall asleep… he still wasn’t having it. How is it we have a happy child the majority of the time but the second we need him to be happy he turns on us? To his credit these were after work and evenings are his most fussy time of day.

img_5339Attempt 3: We did these shots first thing on a Sunday morning, mornings are his best time. He was completely chill, this meant not a lot of happy smiles or laughs but still some beautiful pictures of him. Finally, we had enough good pictures for our wall!

It took us 3 tries to get worthwhile photos. How do you other parents do it? We decided to do another session when he is a bit older, being a newborn limits the window of happy, awake, times.

I should also give the amazing photographers credit here. The patience alone of doing newborn/child photos is mind blowing. Then to make those moments so beautiful, it is quite a talent.

Our photographer already sent us some sneak peaks of the photos and I can’t wait to have a few printed on canvas and hung up! Newborn photos were stressful and frustrating but totally worth it.

Posted in Our First Home

Home Renovations: Laundry Room

Now that baby has arrived and we have survived the first 6 weeks, it is time to start house projects again. With our busy year, our projects will be small and on a budget. (Wouldn’t it be great to not have a budget!) The first project (post baby) on our new home will be our basement laundry room. It is the perfect choice because there is no rush and it is my test room before we do anything else to our dated, dark, basement. It is a no pressure project because, let’s be honest, no one cares what our laundry room looks like.


Pretty, isn’t it? Not. Blahhhh, I hate this room. It feels dingy and awful. I hate spending time in the room and I have to because of the washer and dryer.

Here’s the plan to make this room pleasant enough to do laundry in until we have the time and money for a real renovation.

  1. Rip out the scary uneven and broken shelves. I am afraid of what we will find living in and behind that stuff. It’s gotta go! I told my husband I would use a folding table over the awful shelving. (Due to my fear of spiders, dead or alive, I volunteered by husband and his friends to do this!) The picture really doesn’t do it justice, it is much worse in person.
  2. Paint the paneling. I’ve done my research and it’s time to test it out. I’m thinking a light grey or tan for the walls and an off white ceiling. I’m hoping the paint job alone will make this room feel more welcoming.
  3. Get a nice sized carpet for the cement floor. Nothing makes a room less comfortable than a cold, cement floor. Since we are budget bound and rug it is! I’m thinking something light and colorful, and as large as I can get it. (Recommendations on places to get a rug and not break the bank are welcome.)
  4. New curtain is in the line up. The one tiny window is all we have for natural light, it needs a good cleaning and a curtain that is pretty and can be opened and shut easily. I am hoping to draw the eye to our sliver of natural light. Also, a longer curtain may help it look more like a real window when we have it shut.
  5. Update the light fixture. Since the light fixture is currently a light bulb, anything I choose will be an upgrade. I’m leaning toward something industrial since this room will always be a work room and it is currently such a popular design.

Down the road, I want to install cabinets, possibly a sink, a drying rack, dry wall, and seal the floor. I basically want to gut the whole thing… one step at a time!

More pics to come as we start the project. With a newborn at home this may be a slow process. 🤗